MY truth

Ego:   Living from the judgmental, selfish, egotistical mind instead of from the hearts goodness, forgiveness, love, compassion, understanding and acceptance that we were created with. entertaining negative thoughts, living out actions, that do or would hurt another physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

We are all here created in equal spirit to live out our own life purposes yet we inflict our judgments on others which not only creates hardship in others and their lives but within our own lives through our own karma. every thought you put out is a boomerang. Ask me why I am on a mission to change my life cycle and Ill give you a very simple answer! I personally am tired of living with the headaches, pain, and hardships from that negative boomerang. besides... seriously, do I reeeeally, intentionally want to hurt anyone anyways....? deep down below my own ego... nope. Not my style. I just want to live my life peacefully happy.( Live, love , laugh...yep, thats me! :)

I am soooo not about trying to be better than anyone else. I'm just trying to live MY life purpose, being the best I can be, maximizing MY own potential within myself. where My ego always gets me is trying to change someone else, or what I perceive as their "wrong" path, because I fear for them. NOT because I think I'm better than anyone elses potential but because I care and love and dont like seeing anyone hurt. what I'm learning slowly is this... to accept and tolerate everyone for who and what they are because they have to reach their own terms in their own life time to get to where they are going. Its not mine to decide which path they should take or what their potential is. It's self rightous of me to think I have an understanding that they dont. truth is theres reasons why others are the way they are that I am clueless to. Me trying to change anyone, or their path, is me judging with good intention.  Besides... maybe I'm whacked, wrong and could lead someone else wrong by imposing MY truth. Acceptance is hard. sometimes tolerance is harder.

Loving others and feeling judged by them for choosing my own "different" path is hard. when I feel judged then I feel the need to retaliate. Hurt > anger> retaliation> infliction to someone else> bad karma.  again.. ego.

I understand that every single human on this earth has a soul that is shadowed by imperfect mind/ego.  Some, within their own personal reasons, have deeper, darker shadows than others. Everyone is responsible for living out their past karma AND coming to terms with the karma they are now creating. Not everyone is open to seeing, feeling or believing as I do for their own reasons that arent mine to judge or carry. That is THEIR choice, not mine. I have to accept that. I need to love, care anyways and in some cases maybe insulate( not isolate) to self preserve myself and my life.

 Every soul residing in a human body has cried and has the ability to make me cry if I'm open to feeling. Ive lived through enough reasons to justify selfishly closing my heart down but I cant. I am working on expanding my mind and heart so I can accept, forgive, love and accept love more freely. One day at a time i am breaking a life time of burdons, pain, anger that built walls. I dont like walls, i want expansion and the ultimate freedom. I am ready to heal, grow and move on to a better future with less trials, tribulations and pain. I believe in God, in goodness, in love, in kindness. I dare to keep my heart open because that is what Im made of. (and ...I'm sick of my own karma...).

the tricky, and not easy, key for me is reminding myself every single day when I wake up and continuously throughout the day, just who and what we all really are. Reprogramming my mind and expanding my heart to Keep myself open to the bigger picture. the "more than me, more than you" picture.  we are all living in a universe of one soul and creation, just different  languages,  egos(minds) and bodies. My lifes fullfillment is not residing in the confinements of mind; but in the freedom of spirit. The door between mind and spirit is heart. that is my truth.